β‘πππ π΄ππππ π»ππππ – π΄ππππ π―πππ – π³ππππππππ – π©ππππ ππ π«πππππ π«πππ – π΄ππππ π―πππ πππ π»ππππ π«ππππππππππ.
It certainly did, when I was well enough to think.
Having been in an ICU unresponsive for a few days, with my brain and body shutting down.
It took time to “come round”, weeks later and π‘
Pissed Off – Springs to Mind.
At anyone and everyone, who had looked on, criticising, pushing and prodding me into this place.
I didn’t have a chat at the Pearly Gates, with someone telling me I was lucky, and everything will be ok.
To my mind…I was F…..
This was positively the worst thing that could have happened to me, I could do hardly anything, for myself.
The Polar Opposite, of Everything I’d ever Fought for.
I’d obviously done a pretty good job at hiding my anger over the years, behind alcohol, being with friends, trips away and laughter…among many other things.
Only a few saw it, while I rejected it.
A friend, a couple of years ago did however mention, my regularly bleeding knuckles and wall punching.
Now, I couldn’t go home, sleep in my bed, instead having to put up with people coughing and shuffling about in the hospital.
Sometimes, you’ve no idea, how good you’ve got it.
The longer I was there, the more frustrating it became.
The Icing on the Cake, not being able to Walk Unaided.
And it was this, that was the CATALYST to me changing my way of thinking, in moments.
That’s how quickly you’re able to change your life.
Next of course, you must make a commitment to it.
I was going back to work, and I was taking over.
The rules of the game, I’d just changed, and they wouldn’t enjoy it.
For the first time, in a very long time.
I felt like I was in control of my life, making decisions, taking action, but most importantly responsibility.
The first thing I understood I must do, quit alcohol.
It didn’t take long (relatively), until I learned, what other people believe or think is irrelevant, and life isn’t about constant distraction and, or fighting.
There is a far better way to live, like to discuss it?βπ»