Have you ever thought about it?
Have you ever asked yourself that question, who am 'I'? Possibly not, it's a big question. Most of us believe we know who we are, and usually, only ask ourselves this question when we feel lost, stuck or unhappy in our lives. The interesting thing about this question, I've only found a handful of people that are even remotely interested, in discussing it.
So, where do you begin to look for the answer?
I've invested lots of time, on answering this question, now that I've finally asked it. Where I don't have the whole answer, I possess a much better understanding of what the answer is. Who am 'I', must be constant, being unable to change due to circumstances, as they arise in life.
Me?
'I' am not the person that has been displayed for as long as I can remember, nor am 'I' my car, the clothes I wear, or my given name.
My body?
The 'I' is not our body, if we were to lose a limb for instance, this would have no consequence, as it concerns, who am ‘I’, you remain 'you'.
My mind?
The mind is a set of cognitive faculties, including, emotions, feelings, thoughts, memory and perceptions. Any of these can change, momentarily, or over time. This then doesn't fit the criteria for, remaining constant.
My beliefs and values?
Our beliefs and values are given to us, or inherited from experience, parents or society. Our beliefs and values however unlikely can also change over time, we can make new beliefs.
Awareness.
The following are examples of common sentences, you may say or hear.
'I' hear my thoughts.
When you walk outside in winter, you might say.
'I' felt cold (sensation).
Finally, when you fell in love with your partner, you probably said.
'I' love you (emotion).
Consciousness.
Picture your car, or house, who would you say is viewing the picture in your minds eye? You, or 'I' is having the experience of viewing the picture. You are the observer, 'I' is consciousness, experiencing everything.
Complexities.
There is more involved with what consciousness is, and how it works, there are many different components involved, such as bindings. This is the process of dealing with differentials in the speed of sensory inputs to the brain, our brain constructing an edited singular experience of the whole. This then means, we are not truly experiencing the experience in real time, it's slightly, in the past.
We aren't attempting to ascertain, what consciousness actually is, in depth.
What we are looking at here is, the fact that living in the moment, becoming aware of your thoughts and emotions, not living in, and running the subconscious programs we have learned. Will only be beneficial to your life and happiness.
By the time we are 35 years of age, we spend 95% of our time living in and running the programs. We stop learning and having different experiences. We need to be aware of what is happening, become conscious of our behaviour.
Change it, if it requires changing, there are ways to do this, talk to me about living unconsciously, I did it for many years.
Working together, ascertaining what needs changing, we can change the way you think and live, your happiness and success depends upon it.
The Ego self.
The ego is our self-image, who we believe 'I' or 'we' are in our mind. It's complicated, existing at both a conscious and deep subconscious level. Our ego is developed early in life, but it is also affected later, by experiences we have as we navigate through our lives. It is constructed of our beliefs (we've discussed beliefs), emotions and thoughts that we are identified with. It's reality as we see it.
Separation from everything, is something that is prevalent in society. We are detached, protected, by the armour we wear, our true selves being safely hidden away.
My Ego
In reality, the way I perceive 'me' now. Where I might not be exactly where I would like to be, I'm certainly a whole lot closer to it. The relationship between what you see and what you get, is healthier than it's ever been. I've previously mentioned, throwing away my mask, this was simply necessary.
Re-addressing how my body, brain and ego mind, was previously working in unison, negatively in most if not all respects, changing this relationship dramatically. Understanding neuroplasticity, nuerorigidity, moving on from, or living in the past.
How the way we think effects our body and health, becoming confident enough to be authentic, to be myself, while understanding that 'myself' is not a constant.
Mechanisms.
Where I understand, I am not the thinker of my thoughts, and that I am simply hearing them. These thoughts, being generated by the most primitive part of my brain, sometimes called the 'lizard brain'. Always changing and simply being given an identity.
Also, the ego itself, where it was developed to help, or protect us, isn't real, it is like a software program, or operating system, running in our mind. It's designed to give us feedback, from what our conscious mind is observing. The ego adding our personalised sense of self, labels, forming opinions and conclusions about what's been observed.
Being designed to protect us, the ego doesn't give us much, if any, positive feedback. Instead we second guess ourselves, anticipating a negative outcome.
Criticism.
It would be impossible to move forward, with the aim of helping people, becoming vulnerable to criticism from both myself, and others. Clinging onto my defence mechanisms and the fear that accompanied them. From experience it would be easier to proceed, by doing just that. Being aware of my thoughts, allows me to take a different course of action.
Thoughts of, they could be correct, think about it. Entering my mind when friends gave me a strange look, or made what they thought was maybe a constructive comment. When I initially informed them, I plan to coach and mentor people. Being briefly considered, then dismissed.
There are a couple of issues here, they have no idea what was happening in my life, they could only form an opinion, based on what they were being shown. Also, the fact, there are very few people who really know me, how could they, I’ve only recently been introduced myself.
"Who are we but the stories we tell about ourselves, particularly if we accept them?"
Scott Turow
Here and now.
It's also important to point out , happiness, contentment, is right here, right now. Where we would like a larger house, or more holidays. These 'things' are a bonus, they do not make you happier than you are now.
When we are forever chasing, the holiday in the sun, commenting on how happy you would be if we were there, or the purchase of the new car. Then what happens when we obtain these 'things', when we live in this way, we will already be looking for the next 'thing' to make us happy.