๐๐ช๐ฉ ๐๐ฉ ๐๐ฃ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐๐พ๐ ๐๐ผ๐พ๐, ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐๐ก๐ก ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐ง ๐ช๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ก๐ฉ ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐๐จ๐จ๐ช๐๐จ, ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฟ๐๐๐๐ ๐ผ๐๐พ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐๐๐๐ง๐ฉ๐จ ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐ฉ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ.
The Parts we NEVER DISCUSS, Laugh Off, Bury Deep Inside, and Drink because we can’t cope.
Crashing my mother’s car (illegally) at 16…caused issues I’ve rarely spoken about.
I almost killed my friends, and myself, it was something I couldn’t, wouldn’t think about.
We were lucky to walk away, it’s amazing we did.
The girls able to exit the 2 door car, because it was bent in the middle.
That bouncing high voltage cable, causing a friend distress.
The intense fear, and strangely relaxed feeling, it had all gone very wrong.
My mothers face, what she said, my father clutching his chest, as they past a host of blue lights, being summoned from a party.
“It’s him, he’s dead”.
The terror of my father informing the police, it was me driving the car.
The police arriving, thanking him, and breathalysing me.
Who else was in the car?
“It’s looking increasingly worse for you, isn’t it” after I was forced to reply.
My mother crying, as my chest touched the steering wheel, at the scrap yard.
“How did he get out of that?”
The gut wrenching feeling inside, what a let down I am.
Anticipating my friends parents reaction, they’d hate me, want to see me hurt, I’d not be welcome, or able to have a relationship with them.
Seeing a member of thier family, I felt embarrassed and guarded, minded what I said, always attempting to come across as the complete opposite.
I couldn’t tell anyone how scared I was by the experience, what I imagined would happen, and how it would change my life.
I wasn’t able to tell the handful of people I trusted most, how I already felt about life.
I instead went on the defensive, adding any threat, to my list of potential threats, and hated people.
This is how I now dealt with life, and this is how I dealt with my business partners.
I’ll never forget that night, or the aftermath, albeit 32 years ago.
Now, it has no emotional charge associated with, it’s wisdom.
I’ve been fortunate having the opportunity to process things, and let go.