Losing my Grandmother.

𝐃𝐢𝐝 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐮𝐛𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐮𝐬 𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧?

They do not stem from a lack of willpower, or genetics.

𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲, 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.

After losing him at 14, I didn’t understand what she was doing.

t upset me greatly, she seemed to be forgetting him, selling his possessions, and moving on in her life.

I remember, sitting in a hotel bar at 15, tears rolling down my face, asking my mother, what’s she doing?

My parents friend simply said, it’s the alcohol.

To me, it was like nobody seemed to care.

I then pushed my grandmother away, never taking the opportunity to tell her how much I cared.

When I heard she’d died, it hit me like a tonne of bricks.

It was a similar experience in business, family and romantic relationships.

I didn’t share, but instead controlled how I felt, acted and what I said.

This had negative consequences, where I now take responsibility for my life, for years I’d not expressed my true feelings, for differing reasons.

I will not accept everything that happened was all my “fault”, everyone is responsible for their own actions.

Others will do whatever they want, and blame you, because you’re drinking, or overdoing something else, making everything worse.

Trauma is different for us all, it cannot however be left undealt with, if you are going to change your life.

You might be fortunate right now, your relationship with alcohol, other substances, or activities, might simply be in the very unhealthy place.

The problem arises, when the consequences of your behaviour are in the longer term creating negative results and you can’t quit.

What other activities, or substances do you have an unhealthy relationship with?

What’s the constant?

Addressing and creating healthy relationships with yourself and your “addiction”, means, you’ll have a better relationship with life.