To overcome our addiction to, or unhealthy relationship with alcohol, actually anything we are over doing, we must raise our levels of self-awareness.
I went out cycling yesterday, spending time, reflecting on my own experiences of overcoming addictions.
Where I wasn’t using exercise as a distraction, I was driving myself so hard after leaving the hospital and when I began training. I was treating my body like a slave, pushing it to the point where I couldn’t eat, or sleep enough to recover properly, it was difficult to maintain something that was supposed to be, beneficial.
My mother recently told me, every time you rode the bike when you started, you looked drained and knackered.
My mother recently told me, every time you rode the bike when you started, you looked drained and knackered.
I was so fixated on becoming this new version of myself, I wasn’t aware I was running the same old competitive program…when I was drinking, I wanted to be the best drinker.
Yes, I was using the energy of anger to drive me forward and beginning to work through the issues I faced in life, but in essence, I was becoming addicted to training.
Friends said at the time, it’s better than being addicted to the “other thing”, in reality though, no addiction is beneficial, certainly not in the longer term.
I needed to take a step back and observe what I was doing, in another conversation with a friend, she asked, why I was going to hit the same mileage target cycling, this year, as last year…I paused and said, do you know, I don’t know. I didn’t hit that target; I made a choice not to.
I’ve invested serious amounts of energy, into raising my levels of self-awareness. I don’t need to be that guy any longer, stronger, fitter, faster, I’m not entering competitive events and so, have stopped competing.
Don’t misunderstand here, I love being fit, I love cycling and walking in nature, I enjoy going to the gym…it’s the fact I’m not addicted to these things, that I don’t have to do them in order for me to feel ok, makes them all the more enjoyable.