Barcelona to Monaco September 2016
To begin with, the thought of joining this trip was beyond comprehension.
Mont Ventoux - The GIANT of PROVENCE - stood in my way, not the mileage.
The climb to the summit from Bedoin is 1600 meters (5249ft), 21.5 kilometers (13 and a half miles).
At this point in my life, I'd done massive amounts of work, rebuilding the relationship I had with myself,
raising my levels of energy and self-awareness, regulating my nervous system, adopting a growth mindset,
integrating and regulating my emotional state, and growing physically and spiritually.
I'd cycled a few thousand miles, done my first, second, third, and more 100-mile rides.
I tackled the Bwlch, a local mountain, where it climbs for over 10 miles,
on my first occasion being furious with myself when I couldn't reach the top of in one go,
because I wasn't strong enough after six months of cycling to outrun the lorries carrying wind turbines to the top.
They were all manageable; whatever happened, I could get home without too much drama.
The trip through France, would be a challenge for may reasons, not knowing many of the riders who would be
drinking alcohol daily, living in hotels, riding day after day to the next one to stay overnight,
all these issues I was knew I could deal with, my NEW IDENTITY said I could.
MONT VENTOUX, my thoughts, feelings, emotions, insecurities, all came back to THE GIANT.
Mont Ventoux - The Giant of Provence.
One of, if not the best day on the trip.
A few years ago a friend and I were in St Tropez, on the way home, we drove up this mountain.
As we crossed the line, I said, that there was the most important part of the climb.
He replied, I don't understand what you mean.
The summit is one thing, once you've crossed the starting line you've made a commitment to the climb.
I understood, I could now be seen not being the strongest, the fastest, or maybe even failing to finish.
Previously, because of my STATE of BEING, the fact I lived in sympathetic dominance for decades,
then functional freeze, where my whole system screamed it isn't safe not being the best,
my life was an almost constant competition, where not being the best, or having less resources,
were like a death to the identity that was always striving to survive in a world it deemed, dangerous.
I confirmed many things on that 21.5 kilometer climb,
how much growth I'd experienced.
I'd regained my health and wellbeing, after being told 2 years before, it wouldn't be possible.
Found balance, calmness, peace, and aliveness, I was living with purpose, and felt fulfilled.
Importantly, I'd not lost my edge, my competative spirit, but no longer lived with unhealthy competiton.
Monaco - the last day of the trip.
The guys drinking, a DJ playing music, EVERYONE ENJOYING themselves.
